"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, Isn't that obvious?") He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. She motors out a short distance, and reads her book. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.Īlthough not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. The Soldier calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid crap and act like an jerk.So, He sent me." The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Soldier and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?" The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The Soldier went back to his seat and sat there, silently. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Soldier got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him knocking him off the platform. Ten minutes wentby and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. 05 2006,12:14 am A United States Soldier was attending some college courses between assignments. P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P:&am p nb sp DME volume unbelievably loud. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Cannot reproduce problem on the ground. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. The solutions recorded (marked S) by maintenance engineers. Some of the actual complaints submitted by Qantas pilots (marked P) and Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. The problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review Which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. 28 2006,6:02 pm It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma toįix one: a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.Īfter every flight Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet", It sounds daftly naïve, and quite possibly the quickest way imaginable to fall out with team-mates and lose out on a money-spinning World Cup.Posted by Spidey on Jun. What would have happened if, as captain of the French side, he had gone to the referee and confessed to handling the ball. What professional would not do as much as they can get away with? But think of this. There is no room for scruples in such a high-stakes sport, we've been told. After "the hand of Gaul", the footballing legend of Thierry Henry will be forever examined, assessed and blamed for epoch-making Irish sporting heartbreak for years to come. While we try to work out and drill Wikipedia, the soccer circus moves on. Fact and fiction are blurred and, eventually, we can't tell the hero from the villain. Legends and folklore are contrived, reputations rebuilt and deeds embellished as time passes. Image, substance, celebrity and infamy become desperately confused in football.
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